2nd Feb, 2014
I still can’t believe that you’re not part of my life anymore. I know our friendship ended for the best and that it’s better this way. I still feel so hurt for the things you said… And that you turned out to be everything but a best friend…you were the only person I ever needed. And I never needed anyone. You know me better than I know myself and you know exactly how to make me smile again. I’m gonna need you one day, and you’re not gonna be there. And I don’t know if you’ll even remember me in the years to come, but I know I could never forget you. You’ve made me what I am today. I guess I’m thankful for that much. I guess our time expired. :(
5th Feb, 2014
I think it’s unfair that you could take away your friendship just like that. I guess you didn’t value it enough to preserve it. Just tell me you’re sorry and come back into my life. We’ll pretend it never happened and I’ll let you right back in. I needed you…I still need you.
3rd March, 2014
It isn’t fair how you can just take away your friendship from me. Am I the one who led to the hardening of your heart and clenching of your fist? I’m waiting for you to come back to me with an apology but I’m not sure I even want it or you back in my life. how can I trust you again when you’ve let me down? You were everything I believed in. Now what do I believe in ? The ball is in your court for now. After, I’ll decide.
17th March, 2014
I thought about what if one day we’re using public transportation and you sit right next to me… I don’t have the strength to say a word… But will you ? Will you reintroduce yourself ? Perhaps I can like the new you… Perhaps… Perhaps what? Like you said, we can never go back to being what we were… I’m holding on to the things I don’t want to change. Best friends to strangers. A lot of time hasn’t passed yet … Can we patch things up ? But I’ve realized that you won’t apologize for the way things are because I’ve made the decision to cut you out from my life… It’s a decision I still stand for, and I know it was a wise one and for the best. But I still miss you. Some days I miss you more than usual; this was one of those days. My best friend will always be the person I used to know… But I’m afraid he’s gone now, so I don’t have a best friend. You’re a mere stranger with some memories. .
Painfully, I backspaced that ‘I Miss you’ :(
How can I be so empathetic when I still have so much of anger in me? 😡
Watching these pictures thinking ‘take me back to happier times when I knew who you were’
27th March, 2014
Today I noticed that you deleted your profile pic of us. That perfect picture that apparently got us both in trouble. The problem is that we look too happy in it and people started getting ideas. I remember that day all too well… It was a beautiful picture. I hope you still have it even though it’s not online. I don’t know how to cope with this. I thought I was fine, but not seeing me in your pictures anymore just punched me in the heart. I bet that bitch made you take it down. Insecure jealous hoe. It’s ironic how we said ‘best friends forever’ all the notes, or my birthday gift… Just a reminder that you promised me forever, and so did I. And here we are, mere strangers. I find comfort in the thought that forever seemed possible. I’m being replaced slowly but surely, and I can’t fucking stand it. Sometimes I look up at that teddy bear that’s on top of my closet…since we stopped talking I haven’t been able to touch it. I set it aside as though it’s diseased. Diseased with only memories if you. It’s even named after you, how do you expect me to hold it? I used to sleep with that teddy every night; now I can’t even look at it. I really thought I was over it as I saw the bigger picture, but tonight has told me otherwise. I’m still hurt. I’m no where near ready to make nice.
30th March, 2014
I miss you. I’m giving up on ‘forevers’ again… I listen to the music that made our memories and I get that lump in my throat, you know the one that happens right before you cry? Yeah. That one.
18th April, 2014
I think that acceptance is the key. If I just accept that you’re no longer the person you used to be, the person I used to know, I’d be okay. But how can I just say that you’ve changed so you don’t exist anymore… I never wanted half of you, so I let you go. Was half better than nothing? No. That’s not how you treat a friend. I feel as though if I see you in a public setting I may come rushing — running up to you… But then I’d stop abruptly and turn back around because I’d remember that you’re no longer my best friend. I asked myself the question if I had hope that one day you’d be my friend again… The thing is, I don’t think we can ever be what we were. Nor do I want to be your friend when you’re this whole other person I don’t know and like. I’m still so angry. I’m still so sad.
The months just keep on passing.
Imagine that— you were someone I’d give my life for.
"I am a Millennial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us “the Global Generation”. We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy just for showing up. Others think it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world, an indifference to suffering"
- Madison Montgomery, American Horror Story